…about Anxiety’s mouth

I keep much unsaid, and then there is the throttle release, the gears clutching through until this anxiety, an uncontrollable expulsion of thoughts and words drive right out of my mouth. Half the time I don’t know what I have said, the other half, because I am hurt, and disappointed, my wickedness  climbs and clambers over the conscience of my soul, until she is free to wreak havoc upon every single person who has been hurting me. I bounce back and forth some days like a pinball between bumpers, and as the emotional persona of my mind renders me helpless against the wicked me that wants so desperately to drive everyone away, to keep them all at bay. I succeed most of the time and then there are the crazy people who love me because they see me, they know me, they took the time to see beyond my walls, and barriers. I don’t know maybe this is all just shit I shouldn’t even talk about, maybe I should simply just bend over and bare my ass, and tell everyone to kiss off.


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