It’s been a few days of ups and downs and the emotional roller coaster I am is kicking into high, gear, Juggling this juggling that, its hyper drive to the tenth power, and all I can do is act aimlessly in the void. When I am like this my head is numb everything is a jumbled mess and I just can’t concentrate of focus or sleep, or sit still. Nothing is satisfying and nothing brings me comfort. It’s as if somebody turned on the spin cycle in my head and when it stops I will find my focus again. This is not fun sometimes I am like this for weeks for months, sometimes I free myself but it is rare. This round and round spin dizzies me and I am fearful of when it stops. These are the times I find I begin to make changes in myself and my life. These are the times I can’t find the strength to tell myself no. These are the times when, I rise anew and look out, I don’t know who is coming!