Apologies, Books, Netflix


Apologies, lately I have been in a funk, as in I shut out the world, real and digital, and find myself a Netflix series, and completely Binge watch. This happens sometimes for weeks. At these this times, my mind welcomes formaldehyde  purification of nothingness. The house, the kids, the cats and the man…all find themselves lucky to get food and clean underwear. But this too creates a sadness. A sadness that is rooted in my love of books, and how a night could pass and voila’ a finished story to place upon the shelves of collecting the written words I have read, permanently ingrained into my person and memory. I don’t read anymore, I can’t read…not that I ‘can’t read’ but over the years, I have become unable to focus the past passion for a good book, the smell of the pages and grained texture of the pages are lost to my senses. I miss holding a book, flipping and flopping, twisting and turning hanging upside down, half over the edge, trying to desperately to find a long pause between movements that is tolerable for the page turning fury of discovering the end of the author’s intent. Biographies, Auto-Biographies, Fiction, Non-fiction, Fantasy, Science-Fiction, all of them not lost upon my eyes, and mind, all absorbed with eager zeal. But that pesky focus has caused the dusty webs to crust in the corners of my mind, the use of language and words falls short and less than. I’m fumbling through this unfocused mind, this whirling madness of the inability to sit and read a book…This is a sadness, I ponder as I binge, and think what more could I do than watch moving pictures? Sigh…I think I am gonna go read me a book. Goodnight

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