I have to share this. It’s not one of my finer moments, and yet I am still proud of speaking out.
There I was finishing up my Friday evening trip to the store. Diddle was climbing through the back of the suburban to get in his seat and strap in for the ride home and I was placing our bags of shopping for the week in the back. When I heard this woman behind me screaming…
W: Are you fucking stupid?” What the hell?
I turned around and took notice.
There were two kids in a car clambering to get out and this woman, presumably, their mother was screaming and cussing at them to not lock the doors.
The boy was a gangly thin red haired kid wearing a jacket that was swallowing him he was maybe 8-9 yo. at the most and his sister who was a healthier looking brunette with wavy hair and she was wearing was a jacket that barely covered her.
And as I listened to the barrage of curse words and the hate in her voice towards the kids, I was appalled and cut to my core with her final statements.
W: Are you a fucking moron? You are, you are a little fucking moron! I told you don’t lock the doors!
Now that was it, my mouth took over and as I pushed my cart past them and shoved it into the cart rack I spoke...
ME: What a wonderful way to motivate, nurture and love your kid with such wonderful language! Maybe you should try a kinder voice and gentler words instead of humiliating them.
W: Why don’t you mind your own business, fat ass!
Now I am chunky, and I do have a big ol butt…but there I was in a public parking lot facing off with what I realized, with her words, was a bully. And we all know sometimes to face off with a bully you reciprocate their behavior back at them.
This woman probably out weighed me by close to 50lbs and she carried all of her heftiness on top.
ME: Well ain’t that like the pot calling the kettle black…you look like some granny smith apple that got two sticks stuck up its butt. I guess you didn’t have the right kind of motivation as a kid either.
Ding ding it was on FOLKS!
W: Who the fuck do you think you are?
ME: Just someone in a public place that is appalled at how you were screaming and cussing out your kids. You don’t talk to kids like that you realize how you were speaking is a form of abuse that those words…
W: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and get in your truck and mind your own business.
ME: Nope, those kids need to know that they are being verbally and mentally abused.
She starts to walk across the parking lot at this point, and I am thinking she is going to stomp me into the ground. She gets right up in my face, I am talking nose to nose!
W: Why don’t you take your pig faced, red-kneck, hillbilly, inbred, skank ass, and get into your vehicle and mind your own fucking business.
I figure at this point it’s gone too far… just walk away…just walk away. I turn to go and oops my mouth…somewhat quietly where it was only her and I that could hear…I did still have Diddle in mind in suburban, which is right next to us.
ME: Nazi C*nt.
The next thing I know she is spitting on me as my back is turned and I turned around and yelled.
ME: Did you just spit on me as I was walking away from you? You are seriously nasty!
W: You called me a Nazi C*nt.
ME: Yes I did, because that is how you are acting, screaming at your kids…
W: They are not even my kids, now do you feel better?
ME: What!? Those aren’t your kids? Well lady that double makes you a nazi c*nt and do you know spitting on someone is considered assault. Maybe we should get an officer out here to sort this out and explain to you what child abuse is and what is assault.
W: How about I call them for you!
She walked back across the aisle way of the parking lot, after I mention the police.
ME: Okay well thank you that’s is the nicest thing you have said so far.
W: Do you feel better now? Does it make you feel better now, jumping in the middle of someone else’s business?
ME: You know what lady just stop, people like you are what is wrong with this world. You think you are entitled to say whatever you want, however you want, wherever you want with no regards to the people around you and the person you are saying it to. You’re not entitled to say and do whatever you want out in public and expect those around you to tolerate it.
At the point, her kids have walked back to her and are trying to pull her into the store.
I look directly at those kids and I tell them…
ME: You kids, you don’t have to be talked to like that! NO adult, your parent or not, NO ONE, has the right to talk to you that way! It’s a form of abuse and you have the right to NOT be talked to that way.
At this point a manager who must have been heading home for the day say steps in as we are waiting for the police.
Manager: You ladies need to both leave and let this go.
W: I am so sorry, I am sorry if I offended someone…
ME: You need to apologize for talking to those kids that way and for spitting on me!
Manager: You spit on her?
W: Yeah, she called me a nazi c*nt!
Manager: Well ma’am I heard the majoritty and there are witnesses that heard you screaming at your kids.
W: They aren’t even my kids…they’re my fiance’s.
ME: That makes it even worse lady, how do you treat them behind closed doors, where no one can stand up for them?
W: Are you still here?
ME: Yeah I am waiting for an apology for those kids and for myself.
Manager: (to me) Could you please go ahead and take off? I will handle this and I am sorry she spit on you…
W: I am sorry for spitting on you but you called me…
ME: Kind of sucks when words hurt your feelings doesn’t it? I bet that is how those kids felt being called fucking morons. You know that is one way where kids get messed up is how an adult treats them, it’s not right, it’s just not right.
I keep telling myself to stop but I couldn’t help but continue to grind in the point that words hurt, aaaand I stepped off of my soap box and tell the manager I will be leaving after I talk to an officer, and then, of course the Bully woman says she never called the police and I exit from my part of making a “scene.”
As I am getting into my suburban, I hear this Bully woman apologizing to the manager and to other people, who, now feel safe enough to be walking past and scramble to their own vehicles
I make sure Diddle, who, thank goodness, stayed in suburban and watch the horrific scene play out is strapped in to his seat, and we head home.
Diddle: Mommy that lady spit on you and was screaming bad words at her kids and then you guys were screaming at each other, and it was bad and I was worried she was gonna hurt you.
ME: Yes Diddle it turned bad and I am sooo sorry you had to see that and hear that. But sometimes when other adults are behaving badly it takes another adult to point it out. And just like when Mommy and Daddy point out your bad behavior and you don’t like it and you get mad and throw a fir, that woman did the same thing.
Diddle: Yeah but I am a little kid and she is a big person.
ME:…..I know Diddle but Mommy was wrong too, because I got angry when she started to call me names after…You know what kiddo let’s go home and put this mess behind us.
Diddle: Mommy, she wasn’t very nice to her kids, was she?
Diddle: She wasn’t a very nice person either?
ME: I don’t know honey she might have been having a bad moment or a bad day, but it’s no excuse for being that way to someone else, especially a kid.
Diddle: Right! Mommy. I love you.
Me: I love you too my Puh-Diddle.
Maybe, I could have approached her differently, maybe I could have handled myself better. As, I have shared this moment with my closest friends and HIM, I am still left bewildered that she spit on me and felt justified. My three closest friends will tell you folks, and HIM too, I have a really bad ‘gross out factor’ towards spit. I think we all do, spit is nasty and writing and thinking about it makes me want to… Ack ! They all four have said they would have punched her in her mouth, and I say yeah it’s a good thing I am medicated. They all laugh and say well medicated or not you were by far the better person regardless and still should have knocked her on her butt for that.
From my closest friend: ” You are a person of amazing stregnth…a lesser person would have punched her and beat her down and you…You were still focused on how she was speaking to those kids and that is why those of us that love you, do.”
PS…I don’t think I will go back to that store for awhile.