UPDATED BELOW WTF? Pity Friendship?


 I was told today by a person who was a friend in the past her friendship was because she thought that I didn’t have any friends and that no one else wanted to be friends with me.

I thought wow, thanks for the pity friendship. Then my human nature took over and I thought you are a real bitch, you are fake and insincere, and what a service you did by being my fake ass friend. I said this to her also.

Should I feel bad for sending her these words?

I don’t feel good, because I may have hurt her feelings.

She probably doesn’t care if she has hurt mine. Friendship is when you genuinely like someone and you enjoy being friends with them and it’s the same when you love, friendship should be unconditional with healthy boundaries of course.

Why do I attract these type of people to me in my life?

Maybe I am wrong???

What possesses a person to be someone’s friend out of feeling sorry for them, and that they think that it is their duty?

I am gonna say this. For those who have been my friend out of pity.

Thanks but no thanks.

Pity friendship is not needed!

It’s not sincere.

It makes you two faced.

It hurts the person who thought you were a sincere friend.

I have to think why at 40 these people keep falling into my life?

I end up feeling as if there is something wrong with me?

It’s not the rejection that hurts, it’s the fact that for as long as she was my friend, it was a lie.

UPDATE: I didn’t sleep well last night. It was difficult and restless because my brain kept me going back to the whole conversation with this ex friend. I was going to delete this when I got around today. I still want to delete it. The story is so large in my life right now.

I was accused of trying to start shit with her, that my reaching out to correct a wrong was a ploy. She also used to be my hairdresser and babysitter, and she attacked me for her being there for my kids. I told her I paid you to be a babysitter, that was you freaking job.

I think that the Brain has latched onto this and my heart too. I feel so stupid, and so horrible. I feel as if it was my fault. I have cried and been thinking on this since the whole conversation happened.

There are many things with this that I am responsible for. I own that. I did things the wrong way and I own that. I screwed up I own that. I trusted her and I own that.

I never talked bad about her after the friendship was done. She went on a propaganda campaign and bad mouthed me left and right. People were asking what happened, calling me texting me, hitting me up on FB. I told em I didn’t want to talk about it. I have even referred people to her as a babysitter, because she is good with kids.

She said I seek pity…uhm no I  hide from everyone. I don’t share my shit and when I do things like this happen.

I won’t delete this…there will be updates I am sure as the Brain picks this apart. But for now I have family and home to keep me in good spirits.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “UPDATED BELOW WTF? Pity Friendship?

    1. I think the most difficult for me to understand is that she actually thinks she was doing a good thing. She doesn’t get how extremely insincere it was. On top of that I have felt horrible all this time beating myself up for my part of the friendship going south.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah now that I look back, she was always suggesting I do things the way “normal” people do them, and always tooting her horn about how great a friend she was for me, and how…well good riddance. The conversation has however allowed me to take some of what she said and reflect upon it and actually look at myself and how I could improve how I view myself and why those things hurt so much. But then again sometimes mean words…are that in themselves, mean and hurtful.

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  1. I’m a little late to the table here. You should not feel bad. People like that are narcissist. Thinking they are better than you and “as their duty” they must help those they feel need helped, never thinking, maybe you don’t want to be their friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did like her. I still think she is a decent person. Even after what has transpired between us. I did enjoy her friendship. Maybe it’s the fact that according to her own words she felt that her friendship was the only friendship in my life and that she did it because she felt bad for me and decided to be my friend. But then she went on to say that she was the ONLY friend and the TRUEST friend i have ever had or will have…and that is what set alarms going off. It reminded me of past romantic relationships where the guy would say “I am the ONLY one who will ever love you, and you will never find anyone else.” Then to say that I am mad because she won’t be my friend anymore…and I was like wait…I though you were my truest friend…I dunno it’s all water under the bridge. I vented and am beginning to think I have apologized 777 times ( biblical reference) and it’s upon her. I wash my hands and free of the negativity.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. For one, she is not your friend for saying she was a pity friend. Two, why should she tell you to act or be normal? What is normal? Your normal is not my normal. And stop apologizing for being you! The people that see the goodness in you will be attracted to you and the people who think you should act a certain way….well you don’t need them. Sometimes it hurts to let go, sometimes it’s freeing. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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