Who isn’t afraid of failing?
Successful people I suppose. Maybe then again they faced the fear nose to nose and said I will.
For me it’s not that easy.
But maybe it’s not fear alone, it’s succeeding that frightens me awful and here I am and have been all of my life stuck in a Joseph Heller book title.
If I fail…I am the worst.
But if I succeed, people would know me. Right?
Success is frightening, and because the stuck between mental illness and physical illness have always been my fight my struggles, my focus, I don’t know how to do much else but fight against these.
But the Crohns is in remission, and the mental illness is, well, it is what it is.
So how do I learn how to be something besides a the illnesses that have shaped my life.
No, that doesn’t sound right, I am not those two things, but I look back and see every lost job, every failing moment in my life and see the two elephants doing ballet.
I am not the illnesses, the cards dealt, I am so much more, maybe not…
But maybe I will be.
Has anyone else struggled with failure and the fear of success?
I am curious to know.
If so how did you tame the elephants in you your live?